So this is officially one of the weirdest things ever. I am at the eye doctor’s for a consultation for PRK. They have just dilated my eyes and looking through my glasses makes everything on my phone look blury as hell. I’m fine for up close things without the glasses but wow. This is so trippy. I texted my mom to see if this is what its always like for her. I’m sure she appreciated that – I still haven’t gotten a reply! =O. I solemnly vow to never mock the visually impaired. Nah, who am I kidding? I will always mock – especially if I can see without contacts or glasses again! But at least I will have experienced it and know what its like. Sort of. So weird!
Ok. So. Back to the topic I wanted to write about yesterday but got side tracked. Friends. Friends are amazing. Most of the time. I have some really awesome friends. Some new, some have been around forever. I don’t like saying I have a best friend because I really do have multiple best friends. As corny as that may sound. And even though that defeats the whole purpose of “best.” But it is what it is. I don’t think I have very many friends. I know a lot of people, but I’m not friends friends with them. I may even know a good deal about them. But the people I count as real friends. Well, maybe I do have a lot of “best friends.” Cheesiness. Sorry, guys.
I have groupings of friends. I have the people from my high school fencing team, I have my dive club people, I’ve got Girl Scout people, and Italy people and, yeah, I could go on for a while. There are the stand alones too, but there’s not many of them. Two that I can think of. One from way back when, who funny enough, I used to despise with every morsel of emotion I could scrounge up- I’m sure one day I will go into the details of that, and the other from school, who I only met last year and I haven’t seen in ages but I know she’d be there for me if I needed her. Anyway, I’m digressing too much. Groupings of friends. I seem to have this nasty habit of being in groups of three since college. Yes. Three. Do you know how frustrating it is to have friends in threes?? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for having said friends, but why threes?? You only get to pick one person to be a travel companion for an airline. You only get two tickets for radio giveaways, you only get to sit two by two on rides. Three screws everything up! Except on Space Mountain and Test Track! But normally, three’s a crowd!
We’re going to call two of these people I’m referring to Mary and Tes. Now I’m more than certain that if they’re reading this, they already know I’m talking about them. Yes, I do really mean you! The three of us have known each other for almost three years now. I can’t believe it was that long ago! And yet, I can’t believe I’ve only known them for two and a half years. These two are the sisters I never had. I love them to death. I would literally do anything for them. And I think they would for me too. We are in sync with each other. We get one another and we all do contribute something unique to our trio. We are nothing alike. Our personalities and interests shouldn’t mesh from a scientific view, but we do. It works and I don’t know what we would do without each other.
A few months ago, I was annoyed at both of them. Even wrote a whole post about it. I was silly because I didn’t talk to either of them about it. I didn’t want anything to do with either of them and I didn’t give them a chance to explain their perspectives. A portion of this stemmed from me being paranoid. And feeling left out. See, this getting three people together thing isnt exactly easy. We are busy people! And some days Tes and I would meet up for lunch without Mary. Or Mary and I would go bowling without Tes. Or Tes and Mary would go shopping without me. Ok, Tes wouldn’t go shopping either, but you get the point. It wasn’t ever in attempt to leave the other one out, just we’d want to see each other and we couldn’t all make it all the time. No big deal. I think we all understood this without it ever being said. And then one day, a tune popped into my head (sorry, thats definitely a side track into the recording of Jersey Boys for the Sherry track- end digression and severe ADD). So anyway, one day this idea was fostered. This awful, terrible idea (gotta throw in my Dr Seuss too!!) became part of Mary’s thinking: Tes and I were talking about her.
I really wish I could add the soundtrack in my head to you reading this. Right now I would cue in the “dun, dun, dah…” music. You know the scary bit in movies that isn’t really scary because everyone already knows what’s going to happen? Yeah, that music. [Insert here]. So yeah, now Mary is paranoid. And then I get wind of this and I find out that Tes and Mary are hanging out and now I’m paranoid. And it’s funny because if Tes and I ever did talk about Mary, it was along the lines of “I wish Mary was here!” Or “We need to make sure she doesn’t feel left out.” Interesting. When I was abroad and then in Houston for the year and a half, I always felt left out because it seemed like they were always meeting up for this and that and I wasn’t there. I mean, I wouldn’t change where I was, but I did feel left out. I missed them. And it always seemed like Tes made the point to try to find ways to include Mary, but not so much for me (even when I was back in Florida). So after I got all paranoid, I got all blue and hurt because I was being left out. It’s no fun to feel that way. But I think it’s inevitable with a group of three. We’ve since gotten over that and hopefully better about the not being paranoid or left out thing, but it does get frustrating. I wonder if we had a fourth human if it would be completely avoided.
In high school, there ware usually four of us doing things, we’ll call them Kit, Sally, and Lisa (idk where those names came from. Well ok, one of them I do but that’s beyond the point). Anyway, it was easy with them. We could break up in pairs and Sally didn’t care if I was talking to Lisa and I didn’t care if Kit was chilling with Sally and you get the idea. I guess I will always wonder.
The other weird thing about threes? I would tell them both something, but seperately. And then if they’re talking and it comes up, they know the other person knows, but deep down they’re not 100% sure, so to avoid betraying my trust, they’d try to skate around it. Kind of amusing. I’ve done the same thing. I have a new group of three that is terrible about this. I kind of joined in on the two of them so I know that I’m the third wheel in that group and anything either of them tell me is already known by the other, but I still don’t feel right bringing it up unless the three of us have had the conversation together. Its strange. Friendships are strange. All relationships are interesting. I should have been some kind of psychologist or something where I could have studied human interaction. It really intrigues me. But I think I’ve already maxed out the attention span of people on this post so I will save that for another time. There’s so much more to add about this! I will leave you with this though, which I think has had more of an impact on me in the last few weeks even though I’ve seen it for as long as I can remember: “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” ― Albert Camus