I can count on three fingers how many times I’ve been given flowers in my life. The first time was for my birthday freshman year from a good friend from high school. It was pretty epic picking up a box with flowers and a teddy bear timed perfectly to get here on my birthday. Flowers don’t exactly scream “Lauren.” So it was really awesome getting something different. And sent all the way from upstate NY.
The second time was from my boyfriend on our one year anniversary. I had insisted he not do such a thing. But he ignored me and went all out anyway. Not only did he get me these flowers, but he brought them to my office. I’m not a fan of PDA. I’m a personal person on personal matters (say that ten times fast!). So it was a huge ordeal for him to bring these said flowers to work. But it was sweet. Even though he didn’t listen to me. :O
The third time was yesterday. A good friend and I haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye lately. We haven’t been fighting, we just haven’t really connected like we once did. It has kind of sucked. So yesterday we went out for lunch and had a conversation that was fine. We both did the same thing that everyone else does when they really want to talk about something serious but don’t exactly know how or when to bring it up. So we never had that real conversation. But then after we go or separate ways, we start texting and it ultimately leads to “well have a nice life.” A bit harsh but OK, whatever. Well not too much later, I get an apology text. It was really nice. We’ve both had our own things going lately and there was some backlash from that. But then I get a surprise visit a few hours later with flowers. And jelly beans. A lot of jelly beans. It’s the best damn apology I’ve ever gotten, I think. And I was content with just the text! Sorry people, I’ve been settling too much- the bar has been raised! Just kidding! No, I’m really not. But it was the simple fact that my friend recognized we were both in this not so great place and something needed to fix it. Maybe I should have been the one to initiate it- I haven’t been the greatest of friends to this person lately either – but it was nice to know that I really am that appreciated.
Such gestures really do make that much of a difference. Those are the best kinds of surprises. Words don’t really convey how awesome such a thing makes me feel. And you realize, even if you did before – just on a higher scale, how much certain people and some relationships mean to you. We should do it more. It’s a nice idea. Nice ideas seem to have gotten lost in society lately. Everyone has become so obsessed over lust and who’s with whom that the important things don’t seem to matter anymore. People who date and don’t hook up by the third date are considered prudish. Forget it if you plan on waiting for the right person to come along, let alone if you wait until you’re married! I know people who insist a member of the opposite sex wants to at least go out, if not immediately assuming the person just wants to get laid, for gestures as simple as holding open a door! NO PEOPLE! It’s called being polite! It’s this crazy idea that people want to help other people simply because it takes another 5 seconds out of their day to do something nice! Get over yourselves!
OK, so life got in the way and I didn’t get a chance to finish this post when I initially started it. So here we go, that same day (Thursday), I walk into a class early and the conversation between two of my friends, is, shockingly enough, relationships. My one friend insists that he wants to wait until he is done with school until he becomes fixated on a relationship. He was saying how he was old fashioned and didn’t want to date just anyone, but how he wanted to court her. How he wanted to become really good friends with someone before taking those next steps with her. It’s old fashioned, but it’s respectable. OK. I have issues with guys who think they need to do everything for “their” woman, but to have a mutual relationship where it’s not just about the physical side of things is something more people should consider. Of course some of the other people in my class who were also there started picking on him. One person even asked him if he was gay because he said he was focusing on school and his career (he’s in ROTC) for right now and once he graduated and settled into his job, he hoped he would find someone he could fall in love with. That comment irritated me.
I’ve been accused of placing school and my career ahead of my relationships before and it’s not pleasant. Of course I’m going to focus on school when I’m in school. My university is expensive! And of course I’m going to focus on my career. I’ve had the same goal since I was ten! I was told I was selfish and didn’t care and a handful of other things. So I can’t blame my ROTC friend for wanting to avoid all of that. But I’m digressing. Kind gestures. We should do them more. That is all.