About two years ago, I give a call to my wonderful mom, who was on a business trip in Atlanta.  She picks up the phone and there’s laughing and giggling (yes, they are two separate things) and loudness.  Foolishness!

“What is going on?!” I ask her.  I‘m perplexed.  She’s on a business trip, not vacation!  She replies that she is with her HR co-worker/friend, we’ll call her Christine, and they went to get mani-pedis.  WHAT!?  This Christine is clearly a terrible influence on my mother.  Never in her life has she agreed to spend money to let other people paint her nails.  What is going on?!  And since then, she’s been going.  Tsk, tsk.  Christine, you started this evil trend.  For about the last year, my mom has tried to get me to join her.  I see no point.  But the other day I was bored and had nothing better to do so I agree to go with her for company.  But then we get there and the Asians (please note that I do not say this as being racist, just what it is.  If you take offense to it, none is meant) con me into joining her for this ordeal.  Fine.

In case you are wondering, pedicures are not just this, I’m going to paint your toenails and call it a day.  Oh no, it’s a whole process.  They start off by filing down your nails to all be even and all that.  They soak your feet in a mini hot tub deal and make sure all the gunk underneath your toenails (come on, we all know it exists…) is gone before getting rid of your calluses.  THIS is dangerous.  It tickles like no other.  The lady doing my feet was amused.  Along with the rest of the people there.  At least I can provide entertainment.  While this is all going on, the chair you’re sitting in is giving you a massage.  Kind of nice.  Then, out of nowhere, they start beating your legs!  It’s supposed to be some kind of massage thing.  But it’s like they are beating your legs!  I have friends that would bruise!  Then there’s rocks that they start massaging your legs with.  But no one seems to think it’s important to tell you that these rocks are BOILING!  I literally jumped from the unexpected pain.  Then they massage your legs with some other kind of lotion and then they go for the whole nail painting thing.

The nail thing is basically the same but on your arms.  Very strange.  Christine, I have you to blame for this.  You have destroyed the innocence of my mom and thus passing this influence onto me.  Le gasp.  So.  For you unknowing readers out there who may or may not be considering going for one of these treatments, you’ve been warned!

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