I have been AWOL for the past month or so. I know. I apologize, readers. I have not posted something in one of my longer stints since I restarted this blog. It was not for lack of topics or writing time. In fact, I wrote several posts since my last published one. But as I was proof reading them or going over what I had written, I could not hit that wonderful “Publish” button that you all seem to crave. Some because I wrote the posts in such a frenzy that I didn’t even know what I was trying to say. Others because the topics were all too personal and I wasn’t quite ready to share them with you, even behind the curtain of the internet (not to mention that half of my readers probably actually know who I actually am). And then even more that just seemed too whiny and childish and blah to post.
I am at a very interesting point in my life right now. I am graduating with a masters in aerospace engineering from one of the top universities in the world (in this field at least) in less than two weeks. I am very proud of this accomplishment, but those sentiments are for another post (don’t worry, I’ve written most of it already, I’m just waiting until I have official grades to truly say that I’m done!!!). This accomplishment has led to some other truths, however. With graduation comes leaving the city I have called home for the past five and a half years (or close to it). Leaving my job that I’ve held for the past five years along with my coworkers, some new, some who hired me, and have been the second moms to me while mine was 1000 miles away. Leaving the hour commute to get to Disney. Leaving the three hour drives to get to a worthwhile dive site where the water isn’t absolutely freezing regardless of the time of year.
Leaving the people I’ve come to know. The bonds I have made have varied. Some people I will probably never talk to again and that’s fine. Others have become family. Some of these people have insisted that we spend all possible free time together before I go. Others have started to cut off communication because somehow that choice becomes easier than being forced to stop hanging out everyday due to geographical differences. It’s interesting to see how people react. I will keep those observations for myself, but I will admit these people in the latter category have been frustrating, if not downright upsetting, at times. Then there’s the things I will be going to, the places I will go and the people I will be meeting. It’s an exciting time.
I wouldn’t classify myself as an overly religious zealot, but I am religious. I may have expressed some views to that degree in previous posts, but if you weren’t sure, there you have it. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, though because of all these variables and in the back of my head, these verses kept popping up (not quite this exact, but I figured Google is my friend here!!):
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)
Even if you’re not religious, there’s something quite profound about what this is saying. At any rate, it’s helped. Surprisingly, what’s also helped has been the words the priest said at my grandmother’s funeral. Again, it’s not necessarily a religious thing. His point was that everyone has a mission and once it is completed, that is when they can be taken. I have to believe that the people who no longer will be in my life or who may no longer be as prominent came to me to teach me something or simply to be there for some reason and now they are done. Their missions complete.