Blank Space

Throughout the day, I always have all these perfect musings of things I want to share in my blog and tell the world about.  And then I sit down in front of this blank screen and literally EVERYTHING I have ever thought about and wanted to write about become obsolete.  My mind goes blank.  It’s like when you are exhausted all day and can barely keep your eyes open and you finally crawl into bed and BAM!  Wide awake.  Mind can’t stop spinning.  That’s how I feel about this blog some days.  It’s infuriating.  I have ideas and thoughts and perfectly worded messages and I go to write it and it’s like I’ve got nothing to say.  Which anyone who knows me knows I always have something to say.  Or at least something I’m thinking about and realize I probably shouldn’t say.

The last few weeks have been dedicated to studying.  I thought I missed studying.  I don’t.  Nope.  I miss college.  But not the studying part.  Anyway.  I’ve been studying.  And studying.  And then taking breaks because my slacker mind has been away from school for so long that I have to get myself back in the groove of studying.  Do you know how hard it is to study in Hawaii?  There’s sun.  Like.  ALL the time.  And mountains.  And hiking. And 75 degree lows – in January.  And 83 degree water.  And yeah.  Distractions.  Life.  So I take breaks longer than I should.  And then I feel guilty.  BECAUSE I SHOULD BE STUDYING!  Take note, you who should be studying.  You reading this is only helping you procrastinate.  Almost as much as me writing it is helping me.  Don’t wait; procrastinate now!  Hashtag, the struggle is real.  So then I go back to studying.

My main distraction, though, is reading.  Not reading study stuff; reading fiction stuff.  I go through these spurts where I don’t read for a while.  And then I realize how terrible that idea is.  Reading is awesome.  I was reminiscing this evening with a friend about how much I used to read.  Yeah, I was am a nerd.  I love to read.  So.  Now that I really put a whole lot of jumbo out there about that doesn’t really all go together (re first paragraph and the true struggles of figuring out to write once I get to a blank post), I’m going to go for a drive.  In which I will probably figure out the most eloquent ways to update this thing for my next most, completely draw a blank when I attempt to use it, feel guilty that I’m not studying, and then contemplate why I didn’t use that time to read my book.

Hakuna Matata!

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