NY State of Mind

So I’m officially a New York State resident again. It’s kind of funny. I’ve always associated myself with being from NY and it will always be home. But this is the first time in my adult life that I’m actually living in NY.  I went to college in Florida when I was still 17 and haven’t been back other than visits since. Go figure! Granted,  I live in upstate NY now,  but it still feels more home than my previous digs have.  There’s just something about being close to mountains and having seasons and just the charm that is the greatest state that I can’t explain with words alone.  It’s that feeling of truly being somewhere you love.  You don’t need to DO anything to have that vibe. It’s sheer contentment sitting on your stoop or driving to nowhere and reveling in the beauty and magnificence of where you are. The feels are just there.  It’s simple and wonderful tied up in a bow and BAM! Home. 

I went home home (yes,  Brooklyn) for Easter weekend. It was nice. I didn’t tell all that many people I was returning. It was pretty sad to go home and not have the Ice puppy there.  Empty. ūüė¶  There’s no words that can make that go away. Maybe time helps. I don’t know yet.   The other day was the anniversary of my good friend who took his life. I’ve written about him before (re: Sandman) and I guess it is a true testament to time since it was the first year that I didn’t completely lose it thinking about everything.  I still miss him. I still wish he was with us and nothing will change that he wasn’t here for long enough.   But I think I’m finally accepting things and coming to peace with it. It’s a strange feeling. Part of me thinks that’s a betrayal of him – that somehow that makes me miss him less or not care. But the other part recognizes you can’t dwell on the what ifs or should haves. What’s done is done.  There’s still an empty void that will probably never be filled.

But back from that tangent, home was otherwise nice. Had some meals at my favorite restaurants with family,  got breakfast – I would call it brunch but apparently if you meet before 10AM the absolute earliest,  you’re out of your mind and it’s definitely breakfast – with some high school friends (we’ve known each other for over a decade!!! How crazy is that?!??!!), and, of course,  an amazing dinner for Easter at my aunt and uncle’s – with more family! Om nom. So much food and goodness!  Anyway. Life is good. 

Hakuna Matata!



The struggle is real trying to name this post. ¬†So many ideas! ¬†I never have this many ideas for a title! ¬† I’m torn on calling this Do You Even Human? ¬†Or Human Much? ¬†Or The F Word. ¬†Or ahhh!!! ¬†I’m getting off point!

So I’m part of this group on facebook called Female Painters. ¬†OK, it’s not really called that. ¬†And I’m most certainly not part of any group for painting! ¬†Haha. ¬†But it is a group for females only who share an interest in something of which people in general might be interested in. ¬†I don’t really know how I got into the thought process of this, but¬†isn’t the very idea of having a female exclusive club preposterous to people? ¬†If the group Male Painters existed, you know¬†women would be up in arms about sexism and equal rights and the unfairness of it all. ¬†Female Painters? ¬†I haven’t heard a single person complain. ¬†It’s convenient sometimes, sure. ¬†You can post about cute smock ideas that would fit better for boobs. ¬†A topic men would not care about. ¬†Well. ¬†Maybe they would, but¬†I’m thinking it would be for an entirely different reason.

Anyway. ¬†I find it curious. ¬†I’m a fan of opportunities for women: I am one! ¬†Of course I don’t want obstacles my male counterparts don’t have to face. ¬†But so many women claim they are feminists, fighting for equal rights, when in reality, they are fighting for better rights. ¬†Which is probably just as bad as men saying they are superior simply because of some anatomy differences. ¬†I’m pretty oblivious to gender. ¬†Or race. ¬†Or whatever. ¬†I don’t really care what you are. ¬†We are people. ¬†So why don’t we just treat each other that way. ¬†We all deserve to be respected and viewed as a person. ¬†When you decide to¬†elevate that level of respect by doing something worthy of more than simply humaning, it doesn’t matter what your background is. ¬†It doesn’t matter if you’re red, blue, green, yellow, or mahogany. ¬†That Golden Rule thing. ¬†Why shouldn’t it always apply?